


The Last Five Years

by SleeplessInGeneral



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Characters will be added later on, Infidelity, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Male Character, Trans Roman, Unhealthy Relationships, You Have Been Warned, spoilers to Jason Robert Brown’s The Last Five Years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 06:49:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16236410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleeplessInGeneral/pseuds/SleeplessInGeneral
Summary: Logan is over and Logan is goneLogan’s decided it’s time to move onLogan has new dreams he’s building uponAnd I’m...——The five-year relationship between Logan Kantor, a rising novelist, and Roman O’Hara, a struggling actor.(Based on the musical of the same name by Jason Robert Brown)





	The Last Five Years

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who found a new hyperfixation!! Yup. This bitch right here.
> 
> I’m currently stuck without wifi so I’m uploading this from my phone, so please excuse me. This is an idea I got a couple days ago because I really wanted to do something about The Last Five Years, when this came to mind.
> 
> I hope it’s good enough...
> 
> Anyway, enough for now. I’m going to sleep. So enjoy, and  
> Allons-y!

_ Logan is over and Logan is gone _

_ Logan’s decided it’s time to move on _

_ Logan has new dreams he’s building upon _

_ And… _

 

Roman made it home late that day. He was aware that his and Logan’s relationship wasn’t… great. It wasn’t even good. But surely he wouldn’t…

He wouldn’t. Right?

He half-expected to find Logan sitting at his desk, with that smile on his face, all the way in Logan-land, where nothing disturbed him. Where nothing can disturb.

Instead, he found a letter.

 

_ Logan arrived at the end of the line _

_ Logan’s convinced that the problems are mine _

_ Logan is probably doing just fine _

_ And… _

 

 

“ _ Roman _ ,” he wrote.

“ _ I called Remy to help me pack my bags. I went downtown and closed the bank account. It’s not about another shrink, it’s not about another compromise. I’m not the only one who’s hurting here. I don’t know what the Hell is left to do. You never saw how far the crack had opened, you never knew I had run out of rope and _ ”

The paper was smudged with tears. Roman didn’t know he was capable of that.

 

_ What about lies, Logan? _

_ What about things that you swore to be true? _

_ What about you, Logan…? _

_ What about you? _

 

“ _ I could never rescue you. All you ever wanted, but I could never rescue you, no matter how I tried. All I could do was love you hard, and let you go. _

“ _ No matter how I tried, all I could do was love you… God, I loved you so. So we could fight, or we could wait, or I could go… _

“ _ You never noticed how the wind had changed, I didn’t see a way we both could win. _

“ _ Goodbye, Roman. Goodbye. _ ”

The letter was simply signed with his initials - L.T. Kantor - and placed atop of a pile of…

 

_ Logan is sure something beautiful died _

_ Logan decides it’s his right to decide _

_ Logan’s got secrets he doesn’t confide _

_ And... _

 

A pile of divorce papers.

Roman couldn’t breathe.

 

_ Go and hide and run away _

_ Run away _

_ Run and find something better… _

 

The small apartment on the first floor of the townhouse was… eerily cold and empty. So very empty. Roman remembered when they first bought the apartment…

The first thing they did was having sex on every surface. But… they were younger then.

Five years younger.

 

_ Go and ride the sun away _

_ Ride away _

_ Like it’s simple _

_ Like it’s right… _

 

Roman’s old binder was thrown on the dress form, covered in colorful fabrics and the odd string. He remembered a time when there was more to that corner of the apartment than just a pile of memories.

“Sorry, I’m Schmuel in this story?” Roman asked Logan that one night. Logan looked so handsome then, his brilliant eyes twinkling from behind his glasses.

He made Roman feel so special, especially after everything that happened that day.

 

_ Give me a day, Logan _

_ Bring back the lies _

_ Hang them back on the wall _

_ Maybe I’d see _

_ How you could be so certain that we _

_ Had no chance… _

 

Logan’s beautiful smiling face shone at Roman from the picture above the fireplace.

 

_ At all… _

 

So he took off his wedding band. He took off the watch Logan got him for Christmas.

He took off all the memories of Logan he carried on his body, and then went around and took off all the memories around the living room.

 

_ Logan is over and where can I turn? _

_ Covered with scars I did nothing to earn _

_ Maybe there’s somewhere a lesson to learn… _

 

For now, Roman decided, he had a job to do.

So he signed the divorce papers. He would mail them later to Remy, but… one step at a time.

 

_ But that wouldn’t change the facts _

_ That wouldn’t speed the time _

_ Once the foundation’s cracked _

_ And I’m… _

 

A tear fell down on the fresh ink, and Roman didn’t smudge it. He let it be.

There will be a lot more tears later.

 

_ Still hurting... _


End file.
